Tuesday 8 February 2011

Why did Jesus die and the impact on me?

Well Tuesday night and this topic has had quite big ramifications on me. I certainly found this a difficult topic to understand and to even get to grips with. In fact I would go as far as to say I was more confused than ever after last Thursday.

This continued into Sunday morning when I felt extremely claustrophobic during the service. This is not because anyone did anything wrong, it is because I am pushing myself to try and get some answers to a lot of questions.I had to leave for about 30 minutes but did return for an interesting sermon. In fact to be fair they are all interesting. I guess it all became just too much for me.

Anyway a couple of really good things happened that day too. Firstly I was lent the first in a set of DVD's by Chuck Missler. The premise is supposed to be based on the science of the bible. This is a most interesting idea and it certainly has made me take notice and look at things in a plausible manner. This is the first time I have considered there is even a possibility the bible could be plausible. However there are several things that do not work for me such as the earth is only 4000 - 6000 years old. I know he is going to explain the dinosaurs later in the series but I don't think that is going to convince me. At least I have someone attempting to explain the bible in terms that I am more likely to understand. The second was the amazing respect people have for this journey and the help they want to give.

The thing it showed me is the fact that there is a possibility the whole thing is possible and possible in a way that is outside our understanding of time and space. Now I seem to sound a bit crazy but if there are things we don't yet understand could they be explanations for the bible. A real challenge, a new challenge possibly but a different one.

Anyway the most amazing thing that has happened during this course and time of challenge that I have been going on is the unconditional love and support I have had from everyone involved with the Alpha Course and the church that I have been attending. There has been no-one who has not been prepared to help me, answer me questions, accept my challenges and come up with solutions when I have gone, "How could that possibly have happened?" I am immensely grateful for everyone of them. All the comments and the conversations I have all give me a different angle to look at this from and it is inspiring to me. Yet again I had a great comment said to me as I was leaving Sunday which was "Ask God himself for faith". I think why not, it can't hurt. I would be no worse off then I am now. Another one of my friends told me that I would stop asking questions when the time was right and that it will sort itself in Gods time and not mine and not to rush.

Anyway week 4 is coming up and I am going to be having a challenge this week as it is "How can I have faith?" I am going to write a bit about my thoughts on that tomorrow.

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