So another day gone and I have been sat in bed this morning thinking about things yet again. Currently there is 8 days to go to the next Alpha Course evening, 2 and a half days till I get home and 4 days till church on Sunday. I am in a hotel in Coventry with my main phone which has internet access not working and my laptop which cannot get internet access either due to the 3G not working within the hotel boundaries and of course no-one has my number so I wouldn’t be getting any messages from anyone right now.
On top of this I am in the only hotel in the world it appears that does not leave bibles in the room which I enjoy reading and I left mine at home in the rush on Sunday. Overall I am thinking this is not particularly funny as I don’t want to be going this long time period without being able to look at things to do with Jesus and learn more.
Therefore I was sat thinking how can I keep this going and I kind of realised I have two options, well three. The first one is do nothing and wait, but as I said I really don’t fancy that. The second is I have a guitar which I am learning to play and can play a couple of worship songs, so I have played those and sung those (very badly… my voice is appalling, why is it a pre-requisite that if you play a guitar you are able to sing. Everyone else can do it ;)
The third is I can try and talk to God directly, oh wait that is prayer and I don’t do prayer. So just to understand the sense of humour that is going on here. I don’t do prayer but I have been put in a situation which is bizarre to say the least where I am pretty much being “forced” to pray if I want to continue my journey from here. The irony is not lost on me at all.
So this morning I have prayed and I have kept it simple. Another shopping list, I am quite good at those, but I think we all are really. It was a simple shopping list of one again, I just wanted to still feel involved and talked to during this time that I am separate from everything else that is going on around me. This is an opportunity for reflection, of course it is and reflection is good but I have enjoyed things so much along the way so far that I just don’t want them to stop.
So I asked for the stuff, yes I know Adoration and Confession first… but I am still poking an prodding, there is plenty of time for that later. I know that it is being selfish but if I did the Adoration and stuff I would be lying and it wouldn’t be coming from inside me, it would be to conform and me conforming hmmmm, that doesn’t happen too often. J
I think the strangest thing was I was getting something back and it is the same thing that I have been getting back for a few days, just with more detail on. It is the belief that I have to do something, not now, but I feel I am being given messages on things I need to share with people and also the way I should be doing it. I am not going to go into detail here because I know that some people who would be receiving this potentially may be reading this but I will at a later date I promise. All I will say is it is asking me to do things that I know I would never do.
I can only describe it as being equipped. I am a poor writer and author, yet people I know and some that I don’t are fascinated by this journey which is scary yet humbling. I thought this was outside what I was used to, the messages I have been getting are on a whole different scale outside my comfort zone, which is just crazy.
Oh my word look at the time, I gotta go and have breakfast before I go and start another day of training, day 3 and another great group of people. There might be some more later as this is the other tool I have been left with to communicate. TTFN (Ta Ta For Now)
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