So the big question last night was… How does God guide us? The video was pretty much in line with my own personal logical expectation. The ideas was that this would be done primarily through the bible and the word that is written. Secondly it was done through prayer when listening for God is as important as speaking to him. The idea behind this is very sound but one I hadn’t really realised. I figured you would just talk to him but hadn’t really considered the answers coming back to me. The other part of this that this covered was the ways that God talks to us. These were talking about lots of different ways, such as feelings or thoughts that weren’t your own or coincidences. Now I am big on coincidences and I have had an awful lot of them during this course. However I think in my opinion they still are coincidences. I haven’t ruled it out as being more than that but I have found that it is all a little difficult to make a leap of faith or step of faith or whatever it is that it is called.
Sometimes thought I think that I can detect more around me than I can logically explain. I know there are things like intuition but I am not talking about that because I think that I can recognise that sort of thing. There have occasionally been thoughts that have come into my mind which I think for use of a better phrase aren’t my own. I suppose these are the ones that cause me most curiosity especially when they would be on topics that I wouldn’t think about, and secondly they don’t go away like other thoughts. You can’t seem to banish them to the back of your head. Anyway I digress.
After we did the course evening we talked about how god talks to us and whether we had experienced God guiding us in our lives. I have a terrific example of where I feel I am being what I can only describe of being poorly guided. For two years I have been involved in trying to find the right house to live in. Exploriations have taken place in various different towns and cities across the country from east Anglia to the west country. So far the net result has been the achievement of the sum total of.. absolutely nothing! This has been really depressing to be honest and at the end of it I am still exactly where I started. All I have been told so far is no to everything that I am trying to do. I am past being really fed up about it and all I have got is more and more confused.
If I add a bit of context to this we have looked at lots of properties, (I don’t know how many) have bid on 2 and have managed to get neither through to completion even though on both occasions it was the right thing to do. I wish rather than being told no on everything I would love to actually hear a yes for a change or get a good feeling about some of the things that I am trying to do. I am beginning to wonder if I am ever going to get an answer or do I just go and do something and not listen to some of these things.
I still feel quite distant right now from being able to make the leap into the next stage because it doesn’t feel like the right time. I still want it to be but I just don’t feel it is going to be. I have read sections of the bible and thought and contemplated but still feel no nearer. Maybe I should go back and just listen for a bit rather than talk and try and force things.
In spite of this I still really enjoy the things I have come across and the way that my life has moved. In fact I am really pleased with the overall direction my life has been taken. This could be argued as being God helping guide me in the correct direction for my life.
Just thinking about it now one of the other things that Nicky said last night was in relation to listening to God and that initially you might need to tune into the things that God is trying to say to you. I do wonder sometimes whether I am going to miss important things that I need to know or maybe I am going to misinterpret things and get them wrong. The one thing I clearly do understand is that it is OK to get things wrong or misunderstand or misinterpret as the mistakes you make are used to improve the person you are but also to assist other people and help them with their problems only if you make mistakes. In fact you have to make mistakes to be able to tell what is correct to do. I suppose that is one of the key things that I learnt this week.
Anyway I am going to sign off for now but before I go I just want to drop a brief note about the exciting weekend that is before me. This weekend is Holy Spirit weekend. This is supposed to be the most exciting part of the course. I think that I am going to be surpised and wondering about the things that are going to be happening over the weekend. I am quite excited but really not quite sure that I am going to find out what is going to happen. I guess I have just 18 hours to go and I’ll find out then. TTFN
The Holy Spirit Weekend (or in the case of my Alpha course, the Holy Spirit Day) can be pretty powerful. I had what one might call a Holy Spirit experience for a few days afterwards, a legal high, as it were! Usually, I am quite grumpy and don't smile much but I was smiling and laughing much more than usual for a few days afterwards. I had a similar experience last year when I attended the Alpha Vision Day at HTB only more powerful and lasted longer. I wanted it to last for ever, but inevitably it wore off after a few days. But it was good while it lasted. So don't be surprised if you feel different inside for a while after. It may not be as dramatic as speaking in tongues which some people experience (although I didn't), but something will probably happen. I look forward to reading about your experiences of the HSW in your blog.
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