I have now had a couple of days to think about the first of the Alpha sessions and have decided to add the thoughts having had a couple of days to process the information.
The first thing that I have realised is that there really is going to be a journey here. I am not going to find all the answers at once and I have to find facts in amongst the information that I am given and understand and be convinced for myself and not rely on someone elses inspiration to help me. If I am to be convinced I am going to have to ask questions which to me are going to sound daft, stupid or just plain dum! Well hopefully not too many dum ones but you never know.
Secondly I am not sure how to take Nicky Gumbel. I did get the impression he was a little patronising, but that is more likely to be me than anything that he has done. In spite of that my mind is fully open to the ideas and thoughts that he is going to provoke as the information is more important than the person giving it.
Thirdly Alpha is going to prompt more questions and I won't have the answer to everything by the end of it. The Christians I speak to are still asking questions and still looking for some answers all the time, even if they are not as fundamental as mine. If things are positive at the end of it the questions I will have will be good questions.
I had two great conversations with people during the evening which stuck in my mind. The first of them was relating to the bible. This book to me has been a struggle to understand and follow. I always believed the book stands on its own but there were many questions raised about the book. I know later on during the course we are going to be looking at the bible in more detail including how to read it. That should be of significant interest to me.
The second conversation was a history of how Christianity had affected someones life, which I found deeply touching and quite wonderful. I do have an envy for the relationship that some people have with God but I am not in a place where I could have that but maybe if things become clearer during the course a relationship of my own. I'm still a long way from that right now and full of all the questions in the world about how?, why? what? etc for so many things.
The people within the group are all absolutely wonderful. I couldn't have found a more caring friendly welcoming group of people anywhere. I have naturally over the years found friends hard to come by but am able to make relationships with people and proper ones for the first time in an extremely long time.
But... this journey is not about the people around me, the journey is about me and my discoveries and experieces. I have got a book on the Alpha Course which has information relating to each of the topics that are discussed during the course and I will be reviewing things as I go.
Initially I am certainly curious... many more questions to ask and thoughts and discussions to have. I know that I am going to challenge things to their limit, my logic will mean that I have to do that to convince myself of anything. I hope I don't give everyone involved a hard time. I guess I am looking for evidence. So far I am looking forward to seeing it presented to me and to able to churn it over in my mind. Until next week I will just mull over things I have seen and will be looking through the chapter in the book again to see if it provokes anything.
Bye for now... if you have any interest. Just one thing to say, my thanks go to the people organising and running the course for giving their time up freely preparing food, assisting us, and guiding us through the whole thing. I am grateful for all the help they are providing.
See you Wednesday when I will briefly add where I am before the next session :)
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